Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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