There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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