Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My life is pants optional.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
