I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
