i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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