I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
