Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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