I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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