i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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