so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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