He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
