What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
