Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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