You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
