Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
