I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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