His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
