my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
