I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
