he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
