Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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