I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
