So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
