I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
