Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
