It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
