I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
