does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As shirtless as possible
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
