Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

(1-334): View more from Alabama

I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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(410): View more from Maryland

he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before

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(619): View more from California

Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

(1-619): View more from California

I am not bailing you of of jail

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(520): View more from Arizona

Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.

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(217): View more from Illinois

why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list

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(678): View more from Georgia

If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.

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