you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
