It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
