You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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