Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
