the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
