no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
