so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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