She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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