I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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