i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont even know how to be here
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
