Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He shit in the fireplace
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
