This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
