Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
