It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
