i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He called his prostate his "boner button".
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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