i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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