His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
