So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
