i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
