I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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