Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
